Cancer Makes and Breaks Illusions

Have you ever had one of those nightmarish car ride? One in which you can confidently cruise down the highway when suddenly packed brakes go out and your car suddenly starts picking up speed. You can watch the speedometer needle hit 85, 90 ...! You can not stop it, can not even usporiti.Najbolje what you can do is to grab the wheel with both hands and hope you can manage to safety.

Many of us have lived a nightmare, not auto-drive version, but the cancer version. Cruising in my life, feeling generally under kontrolom.Sretan among us are seemingly endless options, from university courses, vocational, for a life partner, so that the child-raising, friends, relaxation, diet, and toothpaste brands, our choices are that we feel in control. Then came the cancer. No one is elected, it chooses us.

At one point, our lives are transformed from one that is an array of choices within our control to one that has an array of choices that are completely beyond our control. And even though the cancer may be under control, hopefully defeated, that oh-so-comforting sense of control is broken and gone. Will we ever feel alone again? Is it possible to be alone, yet know that the depth of our souls that we really have no control?

I often think how much more control we have over our health today, when my grandmother she was a radical mastectomy in 1952.Liječnik not wait until he wakes up from her biopsy results, or give her the right to consent to or refuse the operation. She just woke up to find the breast, chest and ribs, half gone. With this historical context, I always felt so powerful, so in control. I put emphasis on my genes. I removed my breasts and ovaries before you make me choose. Oh, my genes may tell, but I'll have the last word. I hope.

And therein lies the illusion. This is because I know I am in danger, because I can choose whether or not to remove parts of the body, and which parts go or stay, I am in control.

Once upon a time not so long ago and far too many places on Earth (think Somalia), very little about human life was in our control. We put the seed into the ground, and then just looked at the sky and hope for rain. If we picked and ate. If not there, we went hungry. There might be an illusion of control. What is it like?

Sometimes, as when I have 3 different doctors will give you 3 different recommendations on the removal of another of my body parts in my determined effort to not choose IT, I think the release would be to let go of all illusions of control. But then, maybe that's just one of my illusions.

Susan 4Women.com